tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6550041944660884352.post3634234327634083505..comments2022-11-09T08:26:47.057-05:00Comments on Not Just A Birth Mom: Never Good EnoughNot Just A Birth Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10520101148178388809noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6550041944660884352.post-35684195284591673792011-04-03T16:12:29.158-04:002011-04-03T16:12:29.158-04:00In my personal opinion I placed Liam because he NE...In my personal opinion I placed Liam because he NEEDED more than I could give him. My step-sister has five children, four of them she has custody of. She is one of those people who keeps having kids and letting the Government (ie; Welfare, Medicaid, and Foodstamps) pay for her and her children. What she is teaching them is that self satisfaction and instant gratification are more important than anything else. My financial situation just wasn't right for me to raise two children. As far as feeling inadequate goes that just comes with being a new parent. I had my first son at 18 and parented him. I constantly felt like the world was judging me and some people did. Eventually you just learn that you can do it and are doing it so let them judge. Some reason people associate age with wisdom or the right to parent. Liam's parents constantly ask me for advice even though they are 10 years older than me. They ask because they know I have been through it and have seen how smart, healthy and happy my first son is. Don't worry one day you will be an excellent mother because you already know how to put your children's needs and wants above you own. So many people in this world never have figured that out so you are ahead of the curve. :DHeather Jeanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09498591663576054079noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6550041944660884352.post-25288461771973874382011-03-23T15:42:41.556-04:002011-03-23T15:42:41.556-04:00Racilous- I completely agree. I use that line myse...Racilous- I completely agree. I use that line myself quite often, because my boys DO deserve more. It's the truth, but it still sucks, and it can leave you feeling like you will never be enough because you weren't enough when your child was born. And yes, you WILL be a GREAT mother one day!<br /><br />@All- Yes, it does take a lot of support. After single parenting for a month, I know it would have been hard, but I also know I could have done it. If only I'd had the financial resources..Not Just A Birth Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10520101148178388809noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6550041944660884352.post-9119754258139029522011-03-23T13:11:18.960-04:002011-03-23T13:11:18.960-04:00that is interesting and I can see how you would fe...that is interesting and I can see how you would feel like that. it isn't true...I think that you are as capable of taking care of a child as I am.<br /><br />I have to agree with the comment above, with out the help I have around me I don't know how I would do this.MamaFosterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16347829013467691443noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6550041944660884352.post-1859306916744742522011-03-22T12:14:17.729-04:002011-03-22T12:14:17.729-04:00I regularly will use the line "he deserves mo...I regularly will use the line "he deserves more than I could give him" but it's not that I wasn't enough. It's not that you weren't enough. It's the raising a child truly takes a village, it takes a support system, whether that is a spouse or at least someone willing to be a Dad, maybe an extended family, maybe a buttload of money where you can pay for nannies to serve as your extended network. For me and many other bmoms its not that we weren't enough, most of us were perfectly capable of caring and loving our child, but it's that our support system wasn't enough, it didn't provide the support we needed to give our children the life we wanted for them. I try to remember that I did what I did so he would have an amazing life but that doesn't mean I wouldn't have been (and still won't be) an amazing Mom. As will you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6550041944660884352.post-73709662474972604312011-03-22T12:00:05.490-04:002011-03-22T12:00:05.490-04:00My mom said the same thing about not feeling like ...My mom said the same thing about not feeling like she was enough.<br /><br />It made me sad because I don't want her to see herself that way.The Declassified Adopteehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16726376584015902627noreply@blogger.com