tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6550041944660884352.post7701247596817715998..comments2022-11-09T08:26:47.057-05:00Comments on Not Just A Birth Mom: Not Just A Birth Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10520101148178388809noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6550041944660884352.post-49997478217678746732010-12-06T23:04:20.998-05:002010-12-06T23:04:20.998-05:00I'm also an adoptive mom and really hate the s...I'm also an adoptive mom and really hate the savior complex that is sometimes pinned on me. I really recoil at that title. Adoption is a very humbling experience. I'm sure your aunt will find that out. I find it's the ones who have never adopted who make comments like that - cuz us adoptive parents KNOW we are NOT saviors. We struggle as hard as anybody. Glad you said what you did. And, yeah, I'd take this opportunity to share your experience with her.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03094017054916752470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6550041944660884352.post-71246648918844426202010-12-06T07:49:32.089-05:002010-12-06T07:49:32.089-05:00I'm an adoptive parent and I don't think y...I'm an adoptive parent and I don't think your comment was snarky. It was obviously pointing out the error of the previous comment but in a reasonably diplomatic and respectful way. I must move in different circles because no one has ever said anything like that Sherri comment to me. The people I encounter in the world tend to remark on how grateful I must be to have a chance to be a parent, if I can't do it the old-fashioned way, not to mention how grateful I must be to have such a wonderful daughter, who potty-trained herself voluntarily before all the other children around here. :) My instinctual response has always been that they are right. I am grateful, and although my daughter belongs to a category of "hard to place" children, so that there was a chance she would have had to wait a few more months for a family, if we hadn't showed up, it is unlikely she would have stayed in the orphanage long-term. No saviors here, just people trying to live without harming others. Just please don't misjudge adoptive parents because some people on the outside are clueless.Meadowlarkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15461831420366632123noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6550041944660884352.post-68748794384346163622010-12-05T19:48:58.080-05:002010-12-05T19:48:58.080-05:00I don't think your comment comes across as mea...I don't think your comment comes across as mean-spirited or snarky. We have to move away from the idea that adopted children are somewhat more in need of "saving"...the child and his/her joining the family is a positive thing for everyone. It puts the child in a weird spot if everyone harks the adoptive parents as saints, saviors, etc. Almost like the child should be ashamed of his biological origins, whatever they may be. Like it or not, that child does have a genetic and biological and cultural history that shouldn't be dismissed when adopted. On another note it may be a good opportunity to share the adoption experience with her (if you are up to it). I bet she would be thrilled and honored to talk to you about it.A Life Being Livedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11702473000464603292noreply@blogger.com