Saturday, April 30, 2011

My life's awesome, how's yours?

So life has been pretty awesome recently. Work has been great, the family has been great, I’ve met some awesome new friends, I got to spend Easter with Robbie and his family (yes- I got to help him find all of his easter eggs! Too cute!), and… I have a boyfriend :) I’m going to call him the Jolly Green Giant, which is very fitting as he is 6’6’’ (towering over my 5’3’’ frame). JGG and I met a year ago when my sister introduced us at an Angels and Airwaves concert. We all went to the same church, but I never really saw him because he does lighting/sound/video for the children’s ministry (it’s a big church). We saw each other a few more times over the summer, but other than sporadic facebook conversations, our paths didn’t cross again until March. We were both helping with the Atlanta Passion Play- He was doing techie stuff and I was helping with children. We started hanging out every weekend during the performances, and afterwards we would go out together with a group of friends. A few weeks ago he asked me if it would be possible for us to “spend more time together” and I agreed. We went bowling and then out for coffee and desert. We ended up talking for hours, and we had such a good time we went out again every day that week. I must say this relationship is far different from any I’ve ever been in before. There hasn’t been a single awkward silence or uncomfortable moment. Every time we are together things just flow so naturally. Then again, I’ve come into this relationship with a completely different mindset. I have been completely open and honest about everything, and so has he. As I said to him the other week, “I’ve been through too much crap to play games and pretend to be something I’m not. If you’re going to like me it might as well be the real me. Makes things a lot easier.” We don’t hold anything back; we don’t play any of those silly dating/guessing games. I don’t have to wonder what he’s thinking or how he feels about something, because I already know.
I told him about Robbie and William on our third date.
“I have something to tell you, it’s pretty big. I don’t know if you can handle it.”
“I can handle it, just try me.”
“Ok. I have two kids.”
*surprised look* “Alright, that’s fine.”
“I’m not raising them.”
*confused look* “Ok……”
“Due to financial constraints and lack of support, I placed them for adoption. It’s an open adoption, so I see them all the time. I just thought you should know what you are getting yourself into, since you are already telling people we are dating. I want you to know that if you are uncomfortable with what I’ve just told you that you can walk away right now, no hard feelings.”
“Why would I walk away for something like that? I think it’s amazing that not only did you decide to continue the pregnancies when you didn’t have to, but that you make an effort to still be in their lives.”
And you know what? He really meant what he said. Not only is he accepting of my life, but he takes a real interest in it. Every time I see the boys he always says things like, “How was your time with the family? What all did you do? Oh wow, I bet that was a lot of fun!” He actually reads my blog, he gushes right along with me about how my kids are the cutest kids in the entire world, and he actually likes listening to me talk about them. I would think that hearing your girlfriend drone on and on about the two kids she placed for adoption would possibly be uncomfortable or annoying. But you know what he said? “I love it when you talk about your kids. You just glow every time. It’s amazing to see.”  Not only does he know about my kids, but so does his family- and they are all SO accepting! His mom has read my blog too and she STILL likes me- It’s amazing! I couldn’t have asked for a better situation than the one I’ve ended up in (on a side note- I once wrote THIS post about how THIS video changed my life. It turns out JGG and his family were in that video! There's a really good close up of his step dad at 1:18. TOO COOL!).
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying this is going to last forever or anything, I’m not claiming he’s “The One”. It’s entirely too early for any kind of thoughts like that. However, as my friend Jade said the other day, “There are only two out comes to any relationship- Marriage, or breaking up- and you have to be prepared for either one.” I can honestly say I am fine with either out come. It would be totally cool to marry into a family that is so accepting of me and my life- but we’re young and so the chances of breaking up are far greater than the chances of marriage (and I don't want to be married anytime soon. I need a few more years lol). So knowing that it may end at anytime, I fully intend to completely enjoy this relationship for as long as it lasts J

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Blogger Spotlight!

While I have met so many amazing people through the online adoption world, there have been very few people that I have really connected with. I suppose part of that reason is that if I don't know you, I am pretty shy and guarded until I have the chance to warm up to you a bit. And then part of it was that I haven't found too many people with stories and lives similar to my own. Well that all changed when I came into contact with Heather. We started talking via email the other week after our counselor hooked us up (we placed through the same agency- Independent Adoption Center). Our counselor, Ashley, thought we might get along- boy was she right! We have so much in common- From our youngest boys both being named William, to planning to run the same 5K in May, and everything in between. As my sister said, "It's like some one put your life in a blender and gave it to her!" We also live in the same city, so it's fun to find out just how many times our paths might have crossed.
One thing we happen to have in common is blogging! I have never done a Spotlight post before, but I really think Heather deserves it. She just started blogging recently, but she already has a ton of posts! I love that everything she writes is so honest, and so real. She really doesn't put up any fronts when writing- what you see is what you get. I for one LOVE that kind of honesty! So, if you don't mind, pop on over to Heathers blog and show her a little love for me :) Click HERE

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Simply Perfect

Today we got everyone together for a cook out/picnic at a local park. When I say "everyone", I mean everyone! We had my mom and her boyfriend, my sister, my brother and his daughter; M, J, and Robbie; H, K, AW, and William- All in the same place at the same time! Unfortunately, S had to work and my sister in law wasn't feeling well, but other than that we had my entire immediate family there! I just couldn't believe that I had all of my favorite people together at the same time. Everything went so smoothly- All of the food turned out perfectly, everyone arrived on time, the weather was perfect, everyone got along wonderfully, and most amazingly- there was not a single melt down from any of the kids(or the adults, for that matter)!
The entire get together was so much fun. Everyone talked, laughed, ate, and took turns holding and playing with all of the different babies and children. AW and J instantly became BFF's- As soon as they introduced themselves to each other they were inseparable, and spent the rest of the day playing together and talking about their "baby brothers". Robbie went back and forth between tagging along with J and AW, hanging out with the adults and babies. My 10 month old niece absolutely adored William. She would wave to him, poke him(nicely, of course!), and "talk" to him every time she was near him. She was completely fascinated by him! 

There simply aren't words for how amazing today was, so instead, I'll just let the pictures do the talking for me...

 My siblings, my brothers daughter Alexandria, and William

                Greg and William

   AW playing with my niece, Alexandria

The group

  And again....
 My sister (holding our niece), my brother (holding William), me (holding Robbie)

   Getting into trouble :)

   It's true :) (you can buy this shirt HERE)

      M holding William
Little brother- Big brother
 AW & J -BFF's

 The boys
       Being saucy- He comes by it naturally

              Trying to run away with my sweet tea
My boys!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Debbie Downer

The agency I used to place William has a picnic every year. It’s open to all members of the triad. I love that they include everyone! Catholic Charities used to do a yearly get together of sorts, and while birth parents we allowed to come, we weren’t actually invited. We only knew about it because of our child’s adoptive parents. Anyway, this picnic is something I have really been looking forward to! Not only was it going to be fun to hang out with William and his family, I was going to be able to meet a few of my birth mom friends face-to-face, and of course I was excited about meeting even more birth parents and networking a bit. Originally, H and I were going to attend a mini adoption conference in the morning and then attend the picnic with everyone in the afternoon. I have just now found out that H and K will be taking the boys out of town that weekend to do something for AW’s birthday instead. Everything is already booked. I guess it’s a good thing I hadn’t bought my ticket to the conference yet…
Honestly, I’m quite upset. I have been looking forward to this weekend quite a bit, and I was even more excited when I found out a new birth mom friend of mine would be attending with her birth child’s family. I know it’s just a stupid picnic, it’s not like this was going to be my only time to see William and his family- I get to see him just about every week- and I know I can make plans to meet up with my first mom friends some other time, but I guess I was just really excited about this. I guess I could still go to the picnic, but I really don’t want to go by myself. I don’t want to be some random birth mom sitting off by myself, and I don’t want to intrude on anyone else’s time with their families. It would be awkward to go by myself. So I probably won’t go.
I feel like a spoiled child who is sulking because she hasn’t gotten her way, but no matter what I do I just can’t lift myself out of this funky mood I am now in. Anything I do with my boys and their families is very important to me. They basically out rank everything and everyone else. I do not cancel on them unless I absolutely have to. I do everything in my power make sure I am available when I say I will be available.
I guess part of the reason I get so upset, even depressed, whenever a get together is canceled is because it feels as though they do not view our get togethers with the same importance. I know it’s not true, I know our plans are important to all of them, but it seems as though it’s so much easier for them to cancel something. I guess I am much more emotionally invested then they are. It’s not a big deal to them because we’ll just get together another time or go to the picnic another year. But a cancellation is devastating to me. Every time it happens, I’m in a bad mood all day, sometimes quite a few days. I don’t feel like talking to anyone or doing anything. I just want to sulk in a room by myself and eat a bunch of stuff that’s completely horrible for me. It doesn’t help that I was supposed to see both Robbie and William this week, but due to conflicting schedules neither visit is going to work out. Ughh… I wish I could go sulk and continue to be Debbie Downer, but I have to go attend a defensive driving class instead. Note to self: Always stop completely at every stop sign. 


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