Tuesday, April 20, 2010

11 Months

Today is April 20th. That means Robbie is 11 months old today, just one more month until he turns 1. One year ago, R and I were sitting in Catholic Charities, writing down what we wanted our sons A-parents to be like. Our "wish list" went something like this:

*At least 1 parent be college educated
*Inter-racial couple (Preferably a white-black couple, like us)
*Likes to travel
*Stay at home/work at home mom
*Have a supportive extended family/close knit family
*Already have one child (R wanted this one, I wasn't so sure)

I'm sure the list went on, but I can no longer remember everything on it, and I have misplaced it some where among the millions of adoption related papers in my desk. We were told that there may not be a family that matched every single specific on our list, but that they would try to get it as close as possible, even if that meant calling other agencies. We didn't expect to get everything on our list. But guess what? We did.

We looked at a grand total of two profiles. The first one was an older dominican couple, who both had adult children from previous marriages. They were ok, more of a last resort if we couldn't find anything better. As soon as we opened the second profile handed to us, we both started grinning from ear to ear. This was it! We found the family! The mom was white, the dad was black, and they had one almost three year old boy (J) whom they had also adopted(he was bi-racial, just like Robbie!). S was college educated, and M was a stay at home mom. They traveled often, and they had a large yet close knit family. They were everything we wanted. We couldn't believe we found a family that matched everything on our list! We gave the OK to set up a meeting.

A little over a week later, we met M, S, and J at the Catholic Charities office. I came prepared with a list of questions...

> Do you have plans to move?
> What are your religious beliefs, and do
> you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ?
> How much contact do you expect to have
> with us?
> What type of education do you want for
> your child?
> Do you have a savings plan for your
> children’s college?
> What are your hobbies, interests, and
> dreams for the future?
> How do you handle conflict?
> What are your beliefs about discipline?
> What kind of future do you see for your
> adopted child?
What makes your marriage work?

Which we discussed, and then some. I showed them the latest ultrasound picture of Robbie, we took a few pictures, exchanged hugs, and parted ways. As soon as we got outside, R and I started talking about how completely perfect they were, how we KNEW that they were "The Ones". We were excited. We were relieved. We were anxious.

It was a much happier time than now.

Happy 11 months, Robbie. We love you.

1 comment:

Leah W said...

hi ashley :) i see you just started this blog! i was sad to see about your son's adoptive mom not staying in better contact with you. try to be patient with her, that is all you can do right?

i am glad you are sharing you story, i hope it helps you too. i am a biological mom and foster mom. i hope to adopt some day.

it was neat to read about how God brought you a couple just like what you wanted, during such a hard time seeing God move it often the only thing that gets you thru.

can't wait to read more.


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