Sunday, February 27, 2011

Just to clear things up....

It seems as though there has been a bit confusion on where I stand as far as adoption is concerned. Let me just say that I am totally Pro-Adoption. Adoption can be a beautiful, wonderful thing, like it is in my life. Painful, but beautiful. When done right, adoption can be amazing. But that's just it- when done right. So often, adoption is not done right. There are still agencies out there that are coercing men and women into placing their babies for adoption. There are still adoptive parents that promise one thing, and then do the complete opposite. There are still so many unethical practices. There are still so many birth parents out there who are empty and hurting, because they were not given the things they were promised.... These are the things I am against. These are the reasons I believe adoption needs to be reformed. I will keep firm in this belief until every birth parent can have as beautiful of a situation as my own.


Amanda said...

What people fail to realize is that "pro-adoption" should mean is advocating for a better, healthier adoption.

Why is it that we can view other things that way but not adoption? Right now in my hometown, we're discussing education because the stimulus has ended, there will be a 10-15% cut on the state education budget. What do the kids need? What programs are helping most? Where can we improve things?

It would be unthinkable not to discuss change where it is needed in this area. To me, it's equally unthinkable to suggest that there isn't room for change and open discussion in adoption.

I would think of 100 examples where people can discuss different ideas about how to change something that impacts families and its seens as OK and perfectly normal. Why is discussing adoption and change in adoption different. Do people like that some of the policies and practices are over EIGHTY years old in the United States??

Unfortunately, adoption in its current form, for many many people, is not better or healthier. If people understood the history behind the laws, policies, and practices, they would understand where much of what we have in adoption comes from and they would want to move toward change.

Changing adoption to better and healthier for all involved IS pro-adoption.

Adoption is an institution, not a person. We should be able to discuss what is both right and wrong with it, in order to make it better for families and children, without people taking it personally. When people can't listen to other perspectives, we're not going to get anywhere.

If it makes you feel any better, I've been adopted for 26 years and people tell me I'm wrong all the time lol.

Not Just A Birth Mom said...

Thank you, Amanda :) I completely agree with everything you have said. You can't have progress until people stop being so narrow-minded. Hopefully, one day, people can open their minds to this the same way we have to women's rights, civil rights, and as we are slowly doing with homosexual rights.
And yes, that DOES make me feel better lol!


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